Saturday, November 19, 2011

I am not my really I am not my hair

"I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations...nooo." India Arie. Growing up my mother always told me there will always be someone smarter, prettier, or better at something. She did not say this to break my spirit or discourage me, but instead to help me gain perspective on how I view myself. Understandably I completely missed this as a child - adolescent - teenager - heck young adult - okay so like I just recently started getting this. Real talk.
One year and three months ago I "went natural", I cut all of the perm chemicals out of my hair and have allowed it to grow like God created it . Honestly the initial shock of seeing myself without the hair I had grown accustomed to seeing was to say the least overwhelming , and in short it brought tears to my eyes and they were not joyful. There is something to be said about stripping away those things that we think make us who we are.......I have slowly been growing into myself and the reality is my hair is the very least of that growth.
Today my girls (who have never had any chemical processing in their hair) were in a program where they had to dress up so they were taken to the hair stylist. While at the shop they saw first hand how others will question your decision to be yourself -  because they deem it different or less attractive.
This discussion with my girls is what sparked the penning of this blog. After talking to them I am brought back to what my mom said and the understanding of it. I am (you are) who God created you to be, the hair that grows out of your head is the hair He created to grow out of your head, your  eye color is specific to you, but none of this is what really makes you who you are, not really. These are just physical descriptors. Who I am  (who you are) is bound up in our experiences, our thoughts about ourselves, our beliefs it transcends mere outward appearance. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."(Prov. 31:30)
 I have found the gym to be a great mirror into how I view and feel about myself. At the gym it is you some equipment, determination, and a bunch of mirrors. This atmosphere draws emotions out of you that you may or may not want to address. I am choosing to address my issues. "I am not my hair......I am the soul that lives within." - India Arie
Rocking me, because who God created is fabulous.

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