Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Beautiful Life!

 It's early Tuesday morning and, I am in the coffee shop again -  I know shocking right as this has been my perch all week while I complete work for my current class. Next to me is a group of ladies couponing. It is intriguing to watch and hear as they barter back and forth over which coupons will work for their family. There are eight ladies in the group today. In the midst of their chatter and the general hum of the barristas preparing java for the coffee enthusiast A.K.A addicts :0) there is the beautiful and often faint gurgle and cry of a little baby. One of the mom's brought her son to this week's couponing session. As she walked in carrying the sweet child on her hip - him in one hand and her couponing back in the other I could not help but think about my own baby boy at home. My heart begins to flutter and tears well in my eyes as I think about his introduction into this world. He was unexpected - by his parents that is and sadly I was less than enthused to find out I was pregnant again (he is our fifth sweet baby). Fear mixed with selfishness are more along what was in my heart at the beginning of his journey. I had just started a new job when I found he was coming. I enjoyed my work and was super excited to be doing what I loved most (outside of my family) -helping others in their fitness journey. I felt like I was paying forward the fitness freedom I had been given everyday - and then the news - I'm pregnant! I was speechless.
My heart trembles as I hear this little baby because I remember asking God to let it not be real - I wanted to only be dreaming that I was pregnant. I shudder at that thought now - ashamed. I look back now and realize how selfish I was - God has blessed me (and continues to) in spite of myself. When my sweet Emmanuel (God is with us) runs in my room and hops in the bed to give me morning hugs and kisses some days it is bitter sweet for me, bitter because I remember how I felt - behaved at his beginning and sweet because I am reminded that not because of me, but in spite of me God loves me (you), uses me and that His will, will always be done.
I have been blessed with four other beautiful babies each uniquely talented and blessed in their own way, and Joshua is no different he is simply my daily constant reminder of God's grace, mercy, and love.
The life of a child is truly beautiful - and in a world where human life is treated as yesterday's trash I am thankful for my little reminder of this truth.
No matter where you may find yourself today, your life, and the life of your children is special to God. Psalm 139 gives a glimpse into just how much God loves us, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made". God took a lot of time making us and please believe He does not make junk. No matter what you've done or what you are in the midst of He loves you and He cares, you can not out sin God's love. Give it to Him today because it really is not your beginning that matters - His mercies are brand new EVERY morning.
Much love

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